So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
