I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
