worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you win again, gameday.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
