I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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