I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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