i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
