Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he quoted the bible to break up with me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
