So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
