Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Text me some of your sweat
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize