After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
