so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Will you blow on my dice?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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