two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
