**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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