k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
