a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
