Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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