They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
