so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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