We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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