I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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