omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
