Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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