And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
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You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
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It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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