we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
