the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
