Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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