whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I supernannyed him into submission
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
