How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
