Non-Jews are for practice
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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