im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she looked like the before picture.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
