I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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