He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize