You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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