He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
