Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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