I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
