This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
