She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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