So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
