I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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