A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize