1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
