But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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