wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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