i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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