what day is it and did you see me today?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I stole a fireplace last night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize