I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
