pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
