So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
