Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
