i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
