I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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