He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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