put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
