i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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