Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
